RICHARD BRANSON TO STAR IN NEW REALITY TV SHOW



Cringworthy moneybags entrepreneur Sir Richard Branson is to present a new reality TV show in ITV's continuing quest to contribute to national health by providing television that will stimulate the public to go out instead. Grovel For It! will air on Saturday nights, and feature people who were mildly famous about twenty years ago. During the hour-long show, guests will perform increasingly desperate acts in order to secure some of the Virgin megastar's cash stash to shore up their own failing careers. "Each act comes with a price tag," explained a spokesperson for Sir Richard. "Doing a little dance will secure you £50. Signing a contract with a German scat production company will earn you £200. The really high price tags are attached to wild and inventive acts such as attempting to marry a Guernsey cow, having a threesome with Ant and Dec, or sobbing at Sir Richard's feet, begging him for a second chance at fame. It's perfect family viewing."