"BRANGELINA" TO BECOME A REALITY

Hollywood's most famous A-list couple revealed yesterday that they were to be "fused" to create one person. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie confirmed that their DNA would be blended in MIT's much-vaunted new bio-silo to create "Brangelina", a single superbeing named after their portmanteau press nickname. "Brangelina will contain us both," stated Ms Jolie at press conference today. "It will be able to do all the things we can as individuals, while holding the two of us in a beautiful unified whole."Mr Pitt stood behind his partner and nodded supprtively. "Brad feels the same as I do," continued Ms Jolie when attention was drawn to Mr Pitt's silence. "We have explained this to the kids, Maddox, Zahara, Pax and Shiloh and they're for it too. They really like the idea of having a super-parent."
Added Ms Jolie: "Ever since I wore Billy Bob Thornton's blood round my neck, I have dreamed of this day. I am really looking forward to wearing Brad's face."
The so-called Third World is thought to be unnerved at the onslaught of this superbeing, and is hiding its newborns in readiness.