X-FACTOR SERIES PRODUCTION STOPS AS CHERYL SNAPS IN HALF

Production of the new X-Factor series has stopped abruptly as judge Cheryl Cole snapped in half yesterday. The sudden bisection happened while Ms. Cole was trying a new pose with a half-twist designed to show off her "best angle" to the ferociously snapping cameras of the papparazzi. The twenty-five degree angle she is thought to have achieved at the top of her spine shattered several vertebrae as well as more than one rib, causing Ms. Cole to snap completely in half. The injury is thought to have been due to the excessive dieting Ms Cole has engaged in during the years. Her current weight is four and three-quarter ounces.